The blog is not my vanity plate. It is my vanity buffet table.

Days ago, when I added this headline - which was pretty much the sum and total of the post - I added this text: "Good title! More to come!"

And so as I sit down to write this, not only do I ape a Fireside Chat from the Great Depression, I realize that the reason why I am vain is because I am so god damn lazy! I must cultivate some kind of fail safe rationale for being so god damn lazy.

I am sloth. Hear me roar. In time gone past too big to ignore. Extra syllable there. Sorry.

And that would be a great procrastinating device: to come up with new lyrics that are the inverse of the original lyrics! Like "Sedition! Sedition" for the Fiddler on the Roof's "Tradition!" tune, or singing only "unforgettable" and stopping when covering Nat Kind Cole's "Unforgettable".

This could take some time. Of which I have plenty. I have plumbed Face Book, I now have entered the world of blogs and the formatting possibilities and the obligation to post for my audience of 2 or 3. I let my Twitter account languish because, just because. The Internet fails to provide me with stuff that really grabs me. I am too lazy to go the library and I figure that if I keep searching the Internet while have the TV on and surfing that the law of averages or the insistence of morons will result in something that captures my attention. My Face Book and my blog are a concession to creating content and, look, I am employing someone else's monetized scheme to do so.

Perhaps take pen to paper? Nah. Only for the checks I still write. I even complain about the length of time it takes to go through the answer tree and hold music to pay a bill by telephone. And I hate the adds that my bank or any other online entity throws at me when doing something online.

I have written things on my computer. But truly those are mostly emails, not counting Wall to Wall writings on Face Book or this four posted blog of mine.

I could sit and think. But my thinking now is interrupted by my insistent checking of my Iphone and my MacBook for my gmail, my yahoo, my Face Book, and ideally some refreshed articles of interest in my standing bookmarked pages. I am never still. And yet I accomplish nothing. My virtual me has quashed real substance.

I can't even stick to my subject line. This posting now belongs my earlier entry, "l Blog, Therefore I Am." But it's the same conclusion: my vanity buffet - all the distractions I set out and am now organically (sardonic use of the word) tied to - have led me to a void. This blog is part of my vanity buffet. I have created the buffet out of things Ifind interesting. I am not learning anything, I am not exposing myself to anything rigorous or rigorously new.

My vanity buffet is empty. And I still need to lose weight.