Veganism and Hedonism

I had a late lunch at "Raw", a raw food counter in the Chicago French Market yesterday.  http://www.frenchmarketchicago.com/vendor/raw   I have a tuna salad sandwich that had no tuna in it, accompanied by minutely diced beets that we in something saline, and a dried  assembly that looked like granola but tasted like something served at a bar to increase alcohol sales.
The meal was delicious.  The flavors were full, clean and fun in their distinction from - say - real tuna in your tuna salad.  The bazillion grains in the bread made for a heartiness that is typically missing in bread.  I love beets, but have never thought to eat them raw and un-pickled.  And the whole meal afterwards did not sit well with me; it simply did not sit.  I felt sublime.  More sublime than when I eat sashimi.
I always thought I felt the most spiritual - indeed, very near to what I figure would be the state of things felt by one who has spent years of dedication to Buddhism and this I achieved by eating! - whenever I ate sashimi.  Nay, rice!  Just the raw fish please.
And then I picked up the PETA "Go Vegetarian, Go Vegan!" brochure.  http://www.peta.org/vsk/  It was sitting, one of many copies, alongside the sample agave at the "Raw" counter.  I had eaten my faux tuna salad lunch and felt sublime and thought perhaps I would travel the raw food path indefinitely, if not 5 days out of 7.  I put the brochure and went on a 4 1/2 hour walk into various Chicago neighborhoods, met a bunch of friends for cocktails (Miller Lite draft, vodka on the rocks with blue cheese stuff olives) and then dinner (1/2 beef brisket sandwich on a processed and no doubt bleached flour roll and a couple of french fries likely and most beautifully deep-fried in hoof renderings).
This morning, I picked up the PETA publication and started to read.  It's not enough to present me with photographs of appealing meals matched with easy to accomplish recipes.  No.  I must wade - I cannot avoid for each page is replete with these tales and I think I know why vegans are so skinny because there is no joy in being consciously aware, excruciatingly aware, of the pain avoided by eating a vegetable or grain - through harrowing descriptions of the care, feeding, treatment and butchering - though, note, fishing is similiarly horrible - of our common menu.
I have trouble processing - I chose this word - whether there is an inherent conflict between the fact that humans eat animals and the facts surrounding being readied to be eaten.  I guess it's kind of funny that sashimi is not cooked and I like it so much, but the fact of the matter is that the fish died so I could eat it.  And I really like sashimi.  Thus, I present "hedonism" in its glorious definitions and I note that hedonism has to do with one's self; the viewpoint is turned inward.  As it should be.  http://www.thefreedictionary.com/p/hedonism  What brings pleasure is intrinsically good.  Plus, Dilbert nails it: